Have you ever wondered why you can’t seem to step up to your full potential?
Have you always chalked it up to lack, e.g. lack of skills, lack of wisdom, lack of confidence, not being enough, or not ready yet?
How much do you put yourself down? Are they recurring voices in your head?
That’s probably the case if you’ve grown used to hearing negative things being said about you and that none of your good qualities are ever appreciated or praised.
You’re not alone.
You see this very common even with the world today. The “bad” things get so much more news coverage than the many awesome things that are actually happening every day.
Sometimes, when you do lift yourself up in front of others, you get mocked for doing so.
Its what they call the “tall poppy syndrome” in Australia and New Zealand.
In the Philippines, they have a similar one called the “crab mentality” where they pull people down who are rising on their own.
So what happens is that you get conditioned to hide your light and stop yourself from expressing your truth and shining in the world.
According to Debbie Ford, these positive traits that you bury become your light shadow.
We fear our own magnitude because it challenges our core beliefs. It contradicts everything we’ve been told. Some of us recognise many of our gifts while others can see only a few, but it’s rare that I meet someone who’s comfortable with the full brilliance of their light. Everyone has different positive traits that he or she has difficulty embracing. Since most of us were told not to be cocky or conceited, we’ve buried some of our most precious gifts. These traits become our light shadow. ~ from The Dark Side of the Light Chasers by Debbie Ford
So how do you reverse this?
- Be honest about where the apparent “self-rejection” is coming from. Did it come from your caregivers or your teachers when you were growing up? Was it repeated often enough that you have assumed it to be yours?
- Forgive yourself for all the times you didn’t appreciate your own light.
- Practice getting comfortable in acknowledging your positive traits.
Here are a couple of journal prompts to help you list down all the beautiful traits about you (bonus points for getting to 100!) :
- What do you know you’re really good at?
- What positive attributes do you admire in others that you feel at this moment is not you?
- What do your close friends and family love about you?
- What do you hear people say good about you?
Wherever this lands in you, I invite you to be compassionate to yourself.
Check out the one-on-one Holistic Coherence Session if you need support.
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