One of the key values of self-love is acceptance of the different parts of our self and our being-ness. Most often, we put a lot of emphasis on our personality and who we show up in the world in any given time, which can be either disheartening or satisfying. It can be disheartening if who we see ourselves as is far from who we really know we are. It can be satisfying if we see our own growth and who we’ve become.
I’ve found that what helps most on a day-to-day basis is accepting our being-ness first, which then makes accepting our personality a lot easier. Accepting our being-ness means allowing ourselves to be with whatever we are feeling, either physically, emotionally or energetically.
It’s often easy for us to accept our current state when we have pleasant feelings. Physically, that can mean feeling strong and healthy. Emotionally, that can mean feeling happy, proud, and loved. Energetically, that can mean feeling in-flow and expanded. We love it when we’re feeling like we’re on top of the world.
And we definitely don’t like it when we wake up on the wrong side of the bed and don’t quite understand when we have unpleasant feelings. Whenever we experience feelings such as sadness, anger, grief, disappointment, rejection, we tend to move away from them, hide from them, stuff them down or ignore them. (This is the leading cause of addictions, by the way.)
When we avoid feelings that we don’t like, our acceptance of ourselves quickly goes down the drain. There are times when we may berate ourselves for feeling such emotions. When we experience physical dis-eases, we may question why we are not healthy enough. When we feel energetically tired, we may hope we would always be bubbly and full of life.
What if we said ‘Yes’ to ourselves, even when we encounter “unpleasant” emotions?
When you encounter a moment of feeling unpleasant, I invite you to take a deep breath and simply say to yourself, “I am saying ‘Yes’ to this moment. I am saying ‘Yes’ to what I’m experiencing right now. I am saying ‘Yes’ to all my feelings. I am saying ‘Yes’ to myself.”
You don’t need to do anything about your emotions. You don’t have to question them. You don’t have to process them. You are simply letting them be. You are simply being with YOUR feelings.
Then start to notice how you are experiencing what you are experiencing and be an observer to yourself.
I applied this practice recently when I’ve had to deal with an intense emotion (I was bawling my eyes out), and I had a powerful shift in one of my conditioned ways of closing my heart.
When I said ‘Yes’ to everything I was feeling, I found a way of acknowledging and experiencing my own intensity (which has been a detriment to me at times). I found a way to accept what brought on the intense emotions. I found a way to not “spiritually bypass.”
And most of all, I found a way to love myself in my experience.
Life is a collection of experiences. We cannot run away from the unpleasant emotions no matter how hard we try to escape to the ends of the world (believe me, I’ve tried that), or how deeply we stuff them down (I’ve tried that, too). Emotions will come up to be released at one point or another. They are part and parcel of our human experience, just like the air we breathe and the love we feel.
I would rather allow myself to experience all the emotions that life presents me and let them flow through me.
When I do, I find out more about myself and I receive signs of what I want or not want in this one precious life. It makes for a life well lived, I feel.
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